The gracious goel

Don't ever for even one second think that because God has his elects you are not one of them when you love Him and follow Him obediently! I fell into that trap. I fell into thinking what if I was just not cut out to be one of God's? I felt this way because school is disastrous at the moment. I am fighting to get a B in Anatomy and Nutrition I think. If I don't get the grades I cannot get into the major.(According to the stats) As these classes get harder I start to doubt God more because everyone else seems to be doing better and I seem to be doing worst. I am starting to think wow Does God just want me to drop out of college? Is he still even in charge of my life?

The thoughts just kept getting worst - to the point where I started even doubting if I was one of His own.

I started to just think about something that has been on my heart lately from Dr. Green's message about ”The Gracious Goel”. I've been realizing that God is surely the gracious goel who takes those who were once were strangers to himself and brings them into his own family. As long as I choose to want to follow Him He will not reject me.

Ruth was someone who was very foreign. Her people followed different gods. She had a change of heart when she told Naomi Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.

This story gives me a sense of hope. God in his mercy does not reject her even though he has his own people. He does not need to be good enough. I am free to join his family when I want. Once I decide to join his family, he will never turn his back from me no matter how far I stray.

Internally I battle between wanting to leave him - at the same time my heart wants to keep going back to Him. I know he is there, but my faith is weak, it says to my mind maybe He really isn't enough to provide for me.

God help me to fight my flesh and to abandon my heart to follow you in spirit and in truth.